Goodbye B

We moved our baby into her freshman dorm this weekend.  Big T, a veteran at this by now, knew not to comment on the amount of "stuff" we had packed.

Last trip up...

B is on the fourth floor...which is exactly where I lived freshman year. I couldn't resist walking down the hall to check out my own freshman room...which was a double way back then and is now a SINGLE.  I am not bitter.

B and her darling roommate worked together beautifully to get their room organized....with the help of their dads, of course.

Then it was off to the bookstore to buy all the critical last minute items....  all the while I was giving her critical last minute tips, much needed advice, great pearls of wisdom..

Every dorm at ND has a chapel where mass is celebrated daily.  During move in, they had the parent meeting in here.  I was so impressed with her rectress and the RA's.  They will take great care of B and all the girls.  Nevertheless, I was sending up prayers during the entire meeting.  You name it, I was praying for it, including asking for grace to handle the inevitable goodbye that was coming.  To quote Beverly Beckham from the Boston Globe, "I was the sun, and the kids were my planets.  And there was life on those planets, whirling, nonstop plans and parties and friends coming and going, and ideas and dreams and the phone ringing and doors slamming.  And I got to beam down on them.  To watch.  To glow.  And then they were gone, one after the other."  Friends, this will not be an easy goodbye.  Brace yourselves.

Then I told Big T we had to head to the grotto...I just needed a moment of calm connection with the Almighty.  

It sure helps me to know that even when I am not with my sweet baby, her loving Creator is always there.

We had a delicious last lunch with B, one more trip to the bookstore, and then it was time to walk her back to her dorm to say goodbye.   I think Big T and B had a bet going about when my breakdown would commence. Right about then I read this text from my dear friend Beth:  "Congrats on reaching this coveted milestone!  Like all transitions with our kids-beginning with actual transition in labor, which arrived without adequate warning, was totally overwhelmingly painful beyond measure, and made us wonder if we would survive it all-this may be uncomfortable for awhile but the reward will be totally, TOTALLY worth it!" Thank God for friends like her.

As we walked away from B, waving all the while, Big T said, "Mission accomplished...and now its just you and me again." That sweet comment kept me going for a quite awhile.

But by the time I was back on the peninsula, I was feeling like the sky looked...as if my sun could not shine....would not shine again.  Friends, do not misunderstand, I am grateful to be well.  If having cancer has taught me anything, it is to appreciate each day.  But we mothers know how difficult the transition into the empty nest can be.  I think it is ok to take a little time to mourn the end of this chapter before I turn the page.